I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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