I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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