dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
