you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
