Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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