i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
