he puts the penis in happiness.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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