So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
