All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
