Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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