Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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