We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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