This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
