wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
