New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
