No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
