porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
