So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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