it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
