sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
