so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
