Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
