Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
