Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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