I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
