that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
