how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
