Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
