My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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