honey bunches of taint.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
