So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
