This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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