what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
