Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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