We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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