Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
