The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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