ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
