It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
