i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
