Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
