Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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