Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
