so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
