you would pick up someone in the library
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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