Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
