And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
