My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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