You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
