Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
